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  1. Ruby

    Watershed

    These are getting very, very good, though I must say I think the alliteration was overdone in the first stanza. "Fizzles" was not a good word there. My second piece of advice is hard to explain: you need to make the poem even more concentrated. Cut every needless word and phrase, even if it...
  2. Ruby

    Watershed

    The images were striking and most of the rhythms and sounds fitted and had the right effect. But why did you start the lines with small letters? They look sort of aimlessly rebellious.
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